Manipulate
by Mikuro Kurayami
Summary: A view of Shalnark's forgotten and tragic past...
1. Default Chapter

Manipulate by: Mikuro Kurayami  
  
Rating: Romance/Drama/Angst (again)  
  
PG-13 for language and some themes  
  
Chapter 1: Surge Suppressor  
  
"Useless git…" another brutal punch sent me plummeting to the ground.  
  
I clutched the loose soil and attempted to stand up… until a large rubber shoe on my back sent me back into biting the dust. And thus, a barrage of punches and kicks has been rewarded to me.  
  
I rolled into my back and stared at the late afternoon sky. I winced. That mere movement really hurt… I couldn't move my arms and legs without feeling a sharp sting in my muscles. But the one thing that hurt the most was my self-esteem. I have been brutally injured three times this week and there was nothing I could do…  
  
Or was there?  
  
Every time I get injured… this surge of energy releases from my heart like a fierce beast trying to escape solitary confinement. I try my best to keep it within me… because I know that some one might get hurt.  
  
I'd rather see myself mutilated than other people suffering because of me.  
  
I finally found the strength to get up and pick up my belongings scattered around in the empty lot. I felt a loose tooth and spew it out involuntarily.  
  
"The problem with you is that you're too nice."  
  
Yeah. That voice again… Azura. Why does she even bother with me? I glanced at where that voice came from. She bent down and gathered up my schoolbooks without even looking at me.  
  
"Thanks" I mumbled as soon as she handed them to me. There was a sign of defiance in her eyes.  
  
I saw her mouth the word, "Baka…"  
  
How odd of her to call me that. And to think people call me a nerd.  
  
I let my thoughts be heard. "Why do you even bother with me?" I scanned the place for the one thing I valued the most… the cell phone she gave me for my birthday.  
  
"Because you're such a baka, baka" was all her reply. She waved something on her hand. "Looking for this?" It was my cell phone. My one prized possession.  
  
My pupils shrank in shame. "S-sorry…" I grabbed it from her and turned it on. It still works! I sighed in relief as I placed it back into my pocket.  
  
"Baka," she muttered again, shaking her head taking her long beautiful locks along with it. She had them neatly tied with two ponytails as not to bother her face. Her face was framed with large round glasses… it made her really look cute.  
  
Mean as she might sound, Azura was my only friend in school. For one thing, I was undersized and scrawny for my age. Another thing, I was totally spineless. I also had this odd obsession with pants that reaches above my ankles. I didn't really see the point of wearing jeans two sizes larger like the other kids. But Azura didn't mind all those. And she always spent her time with me. Me… Shalnark the loser? Shalnark the nerd? Shalnark the cowardly worm? Shalnark the…  
  
She knocked on my head playfully. "Having another daydream baka?"  
  
I was shaken from my temporary stupor. "I was… just thinking." I reasoned out lamely.  
  
"You think too much, baka" was all she said.  
  
Maybe she is right, I am thinking too much.  
  
"I'll walk you home," she offered.  
  
Azura said it in her typical mocking tone but I felt that the proposal was genuine. She had this really peculiar habit of not sounding what she really means. How did I know? She has been my very best friend for almost 5 years. I almost know her than she knows herself. All her habits, mannerisms and sometimes, even her thoughts.  
  
But… I felt like she was more than a friend to me. She was my savior, my family… and my love. I knew I loved her even before I realized what love was. But I didn't want to destroy our unwavering friendship just because of such trifling affection. And so, my admiration for her was kept hidden… all for the sake of being with her.  
  
I'm such a pathetic person… I even feel that I don't deserve to love her.  
  
The sun cast a long shadow behind us as we walked towards it. The sound of distant crows was the only thing that disturbed the silence between us.  
  
"Why…?"  
  
I glanced at her and there was a huge frown plastered on her face. I looked back into the ground and refused to reply.  
  
"Why do they do that to you?"  
  
Her distressful tone scathed my already wounded heart. I couldn't muster up enough courage to tell her anything that would hurt her.  
  
She stopped walking, "Everyday, they bully you… they hurt you… and when they do…" I didn't hear her finish her sentence as she dashed away at once.  
  
And I just stood there and gaped.  
  
"I don't know…"came my reply, seconds too late.  
  
Author's notes: Azura is a name I got from a Candy magazine issue. It's an Indonesian name. About her looks, think Ruri Hoshino crossed with Shizuku (Ruri's hairstyle, eyes and the constant "baka", Shizuku's glasses and height). Her personality is sort of Asuka Langley-ish (nasty, straightforward nature as a cover up to what she really feels). And yes, Hunter x hunter belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. 


	2. Tools for the slaughter

Manipulate by: Mikuro Kurayami  
  
Rating: Romance/Drama/Angst (again)  
  
PG-13 for language and some themes  
  
Chapter 2: Tools for the Slaughter  
  
I sat on my bed and did nothing. My homework had been done and I had a lot of time left before lights off. The sound of chatter from other children was echoing outside. The sounds droned on and on… but I was used to the noise. The orphanage has been my home ever since my parents died when I was still a little child. I vaguely remember the details but the caretakers tell me a family member of a relatively large size brought me in here.  
  
A soft knock on the door roused me from my jaded state. "Who is it?"  
  
"A package for you," the voice behind the door said.  
  
I opened the door and one of the caretakers was there. "It's from your sponsor," she told me. I also noticed that she gave me a quizzical observation of my face.  
  
I muttered my half-hearted thanks and closed the door abruptly. I didn't want anyone to feel pity at my newly bruised face. I don't deserve it…  
  
The only reason I get to study in a private school is because some kind soul agreed to sponsor my education. Why would anyone worry with a heathen such as me? But getting an education was very important to me, and I'm very thankful to that person… whoever he is.  
  
The package contained some tools for electronics and a few books that would aid me in my research. I also noticed a white envelope within. How odd, he never sends me letters before. I decided to read it anyway.  
  
To Mr. Shalnark,  
  
These are the books you requested. I hope that they would be very valuable in your education. The tools are for your expertise in electronics. Use them well.  
  
It was unsigned. How did he know I was interested in electronics and technology? And how did he know that I specifically needed these paraphernalia?  
  
Bored as I was… I tinkered with my cell phone and used what was given to me. After a few hours, I created a new game.  
  
I usually lash out my hatred by playing games that I created in my cell phone. However, this new one was extremely unusual. I made my cell phone into a remote control device in which I could manipulate anything I attach an antenna with. I started with the old toys in my room. How amusing it is to be able to be in charge of something. I felt a playful smile escape my lips.  
  
I wonder if the work on living things? The lab rats for my Investigatory Project were my next victims.  
  
  
  
Author's notes: Nothing much… just that I thought that Shalnark was an orphan so that he'd be a more tragic character! And notice that he's starting to be quite… twisted already. *evil laugh* Um… Hunter x hunter was, is and always will be the property of Yoshihiro Togashi. 


	3. Control, Alternate, Delete

Manipulate by: Mikuro Kurayami  
  
Rating: Romance/Drama/Angst (again)  
  
PG-13 for language and some themes  
  
Chapter 3: Control Alternate Delete  
  
The lunch bell rang. All the students quickly filed out of the classroom and headed towards the cafeteria. The people bumped and rammed against me as I walked. They all act as if I don't exist at all. They all act like I am nothing… a mere nothing.  
  
I felt a sharp tug on my collar. It was those bullies again. I felt them drag me into that empty lot beside my school. A huge crowd of spectators followed behind. All of them gazed at me with contempt, scorn and apathy.  
  
"Nice to see you again here, nerdy boy" the leader of the gang taunted and gave me a sharp punch on my gut, which sent me sprawling to the ground in pain.  
  
"Oooh…" the audience feigned a wince. The others cheered on the bullies. Barbaric as they sounded, they enjoyed the coliseum-like torture done to me. Sometimes I do wonder if they are civilized people at all. They all dress smartly and elegantly, but deep inside, their souls are rotting dead with their wicked exploits. Do they even have souls at all?  
  
1 Don't…  
  
Two more of the bullies kicked me and I landed on my back. The bright, noonday sun blinded my sight. All the existing pain in my mind, body and soul rushed back to me. I felt horrible. That inner force in me was trying to escape again. It was hard to suppress it as they continued to thrash me to pulp. I mustn't let it out… I mustn't…  
  
2 No…  
  
I was rewarded one hit on me per person. There were five of them. But their strikes seemed like a whole battalion was waging war on me.  
  
"Faggot!" I felt a stick whack me on my knee.  
  
"Asswipe!" My hip received another blow.  
  
"Shitty geek!" A kick on my head sent me rolling back to my face  
  
"Mutha fucker!" The leader squashed my head into the ground… hard. I tasted some of the bitter soil in my mouth.  
  
The last one pulled my hair to lift my head. "Like your lunch, huh wuss?" He released his grip. I felt my lips burst as it hit a stone.  
  
Blood… somehow… I liked the taste of blood.  
  
The harassment finally ceased but the scornful jeers and disdained laughter echoed in my head, piercing through my heart. And that pained me more than the blows and kicks I just received.  
  
The opposite of love isn't hate at all… it is indifference. They all didn't care… they didn't feel pity… they're… they're… heartless, brutal poor excuses for human beings.  
  
3 No…  
  
And before I realized it, the energy was released. I felt a radiating glow escaping from my body. I reached out from my pocket and produced five tiny antennae. I stood up and aimed it at them.  
  
'Perfect shot!' I cheered inwardly.  
  
Someone from the audience shouted, "Hey! He's trying to stand up!"  
  
That sent the bullies glare back at me fiercely. "You still want to play eh?" Each of them cracked their knuckles and prepared to pummel me once more.  
  
4 Don't do it…  
  
"Yes…" I reached for my cell phone and played... I was in control now.  
  
I let them toy with each other first. All the torture they did to me, I let them do it on themselves. It was fun. They were my playthings now. And there was nothing they can do about it. They needed to feel what I felt.  
  
The game wasn't fun with very few players and so; the mere bystanders were now part of my game. They were my pawns now.  
  
5 Please stop it…  
  
Kill, kill, kill… That word chanted in my mind ceaselessly. Blood… I needed to see their blood. All traces of pity and compassion have left my heart as I saw them dying before my eyes. Pathetic, they're killing themselves. Ripping each other's limbs off. Skinning each other alive. Stabbing each other to… death. Blood and gore raining like hell. I laughed at the mere sight of it as I watched the chaos ensue.  
  
I finally heard a cold and shallow mirth escape from my own mouth. Was that I really laughing?  
  
And then I saw her. Bathed in her own blood…  
  
"Ba…ka…" she said, her voice barely a whisper.  
  
She had been watching me slaughter all these people. And the worse part of it… I have wounded her along with my cruel game.  
  
It was her voice all along. She was trying to prevent me from doing anything drastic. Arms outstretched, she prodded towards me.  
  
My immediate response was to catch her frail body from crashing into the earth.  
  
"I'll find you a doctor…" I assured her, too grief-stricken to say any more.  
  
"No… there…. is no time…" she raised her bloodstained hand and touched my cheek soaked with tears brimming from my eyes. The tears from my eyes rolled on her pristine face, slowly mixing with the blood, which tainted her purity.  
  
"…Shalnark..." It was the first time she called my name… somehow it also felt like the last. The warmth from her hand left as it slowly dropped on the ground.  
  
"IIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~"  
  
  
  
Author's notes: Eeep~!! Was that too OOC? I hope not… T__T I know Shal's a nice kid and all, but he IS a member of the Ryodan and he does kill people too… *sigh* It can't be helped because they were too mean to him. Why do I get the feeling that I'm torturing Shal-kun too much T__T Anyway, Hunter x hunter belong to Yoshihiro Togashi! 


	4. Imminent Failure

Manipulate by: Mikuro Kurayami  
  
Rating: Romance/Drama/Angst (again)  
  
PG-13 for language and some themes  
  
1 Chapter 4: Imminent Failure  
  
"Baka…"  
  
I… killed…  
  
"Baka…"  
  
I killed her.  
  
2 "Baka…"  
  
I killed Azura…  
  
I heard a soft knock on my door.  
  
Leave me alone… go away… go away… GO AWAY!  
  
"Can I come in?" the voice behind the door said.  
  
"Introduce yourself first…" I replied coldly.  
  
I felt the person hesitate a little bit. "I'm… Maya, Azura's sister."  
  
Azura…  
  
"I'm not going to stay long," she finally said after my long silence. "I just wanted to give you something that you should see. It's from her." And she slipped a piece of paper under my door.  
  
As soon as I heard her leave the hallway, I reached for the paper. It was a letter dated from yesterday.  
  
Dear Shalnark,  
  
I'm very sorry if I ran from you a while ago. I was just quite disturbed. Anyway, I wrote this letter because I wanted to tell you something I couldn't say in your face. Whenever they bully you… whenever I see you hurt, I hurt deep inside as well. Sorry for sounding like a complete dork, but that's how I feel. I don't want to see you beaten up. I never want to see you in pain. Because when you do, I seem to feel it too.  
  
I love you Shalnark. And because of that, I cannot bear to see your eyes full of miserable tears… or glowing with overflowing rage.  
  
The letter was unfinished.  
  
"She knew about your nen…"  
  
I turned my head and saw 3 people inside my room. A million inquiries flooded my head at this, but I was only able to come up with a:  
  
"Who are…"  
  
The man with a long trench coat held up his hand to halt me from speaking. Beside him was a blond woman with a very revealing outfit and a large, hairy and burly man. Surprisingly, I found myself silent.  
  
"I am Kuroro Ruciful, the person who sponsors your education, this here is Pakunoda and this is Ubogin," he told me glancing at his two companions.  
  
Ubogin gave me a friendly wave. The one called Pakunoda gave a curt nod.  
  
He turned back to me, "And I came here for you."  
  
I pointed at myself, completely taken aback. "Me…?"  
  
Kuroro replied by nodding.  
  
Ubogin grinned goofily, "Can we sit down? I'm kinda pooped"  
  
"Sure…" I offered my bed to them.  
  
"Nah… the floor's fine with me" the huge man planted himself next to Kuroro and Pakunoda's feet. I pulled the chair from my desk and sat across them.  
  
"Wait a minute… how did… did… you know about… Azura?" I asked unflinchingly, although my voice faltered.  
  
Pakunoda flipped her hair airily; "I can read other people's memories simply by touching them. I can also erase them whenever I wish. That is my nen. I 'accidentally' bumped her while on our way here." She displayed the aura of elegance and… arrogance.  
  
Nen?  
  
Kuroro seemed to have read my thoughts. "Sousa… you have the ability to control. In your case, you control living things with your cellular phone. Any technological expert could have configured your phone the way you did, but only your nen can make it actually function."  
  
I nodded, absorbing everything he said. "Nen…" I repeated, making my mouth familiar with the word.  
  
"Why… did you choose me? Is it because of my nen?"  
  
"Yes and no." I gave Kuroro a puzzled look as he paused for a while; seemingly enjoying the tension I felt when he did.  
  
"Ubogin found you almost dying in the outskirts of the city Ryuusegai. He was the one who brought you here in the orphanage. He seemed very attached to you so I agreed to he plea of supporting you."  
  
The other man scratched the back of his head and gave a toothy grin, "Ha, ha… you really didn't have to say that, Dancho."  
  
My eyes fell on the ground, just as my spirits were. "I… don't deserve it…"  
  
"Eh?" I heard Ubogin say, "What do you mean?"  
  
I glanced up at them with teary eyes. "I… I'm… a killer! They didn't arrest me because they thought that I was the only survivor in the riot that happened in my school… But it was I… I controlled them and made them kill each other…" I buried my head with my hands and started sobbing uncontrollably.  
  
The clutter of high-heeled shoes approached me. "It's alright…" Pakunoda whispered in a soothing manner. She smoothed my hair slowly… she wasn't so harsh after all.  
  
I wonder if this is how a mother's touch feels like?  
  
I remained silently sobbing. Pakunoda resorted in patting my back. No matter how fearful and domineering he seemed I saw Ubogin wipe a tear in his eyes.  
  
Kuroro continued, "The human body has a lot of organs. Each of this said organs have a specific function and a specific purpose. The Genei Ryodan is like the body. Each of us does our duty for the betterment of our organization. We all treat each other will respect and fairness. Our actions should always be for the group and its stability. Without one, we would crumble. We are like one family"  
  
Family? I never had a family before…  
  
And then he said it, "Do you want to join our family?"  
  
I could almost feel my heart soar with unspeakable delight. A family! Something I've always yearned for …a family that would love me and accept me as I am.  
  
"Yes!" I blurted out, unable to keep my extreme and overwhelming rapture.  
  
"Do we need to put him to the test see if he is fit to join the Ryodan?" Ubogin asked.  
  
Test? My spirits shrunk once more… What if I don't pass?  
  
Ubogin received a playful whack from Pakunoda. "He already killed more than half of his school, what more can you ask for?"  
  
How odd, Pakunoda didn't sound like she was kidding when she said that.  
  
"I'm glad you have agreed in such short notice," Kuroro told me. "Tadaima!" he extended his hand at me.  
  
"Okaeri nasai… Dancho" I replied, and shook it. I now am part of a family!  
  
"TADAIMAAA~!!" Ubogin hopped on me and gave me a big hug.  
  
I felt myself turn blue, "I… can't… breathe!!!" I struggled from his wrench- like grip.  
  
He finally got the idea and released me, "Gomen ne! I was just really happy"  
  
I coughed for a moment, "Its… alright… I'm fine" I felt my body for broken bones and dislocated joints.  
  
My face turned serious as I turned to my Dancho, "I want to start anew with my brand new family. I want to leave all checkered memories behind. I want to serve with a clear mind and heart."  
  
"What do you mean?" Pakunoda asked.  
  
I faced her, "I would like you to… erase all my painful memories… onegaishimasu, Pakunoda." I pleaded.  
  
"Are you sure about this?" Kuroro asked, "Once Pakunoda erases your memories, they can never be restored."  
  
"I'm sure…" I guaranteed him.  
  
"Dancho!" Pakunoda glanced at Kuroro, looking troubled.  
  
He acquiesced her with a nod. "If that's what he wants, so be it"  
  
3 Goodbye to the orphanage in where I have grown up…  
  
Pakunoda slowly produced a gun on her hand… the one thing that would set me liberated from the shackles of my past.  
  
4 Goodbye to all the anguished recollections in school…the root cause of all the agony and hatred in my heart.  
  
She lifted it towards me and took her aim…  
  
5 Lastly, to my one true love… Azura. I'm sorry and… farewell.  
  
And with that, she pulled the trigger.  
  
  
  
Author's notes: It's not one of my favorite fanfics to write : ( But I still love you Shal-kun don't worry… ^^ Hehehe… I know, I know… it sucks so much T__T So that's how I picture the happy-happy Shalnark's past! How ironically depressing ne? And he has such a cute smile…*sigh* Hmm… Shalnark's about 14-15 years old in the fic, by the way. I didn't really wanted it to be a romantic fic but I thought that it could act as fuel for his anger. Anyway, Hunter x Hunter belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi! Comments greatly appreciated! 


End file.
